tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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