So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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