I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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