we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
