you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
