So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
