I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize