Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
