Don't you send me to vm
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
