U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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