Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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