Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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