I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
