My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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