What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
