How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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