hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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