I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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