I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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