it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
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I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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