Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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