She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
