do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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