you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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