She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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