Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
