I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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