Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
