Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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