No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
