we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
