i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
