he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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