i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
