I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
