Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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