She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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