Small penises have feelings too.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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