...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
