Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
