he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
