And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
