Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
