textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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