im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
