thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
