I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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