Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
