wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize