I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
