Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
