Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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