hell yes lets make some ravioli
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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