I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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