new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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