Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
