Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
