I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
