Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
