I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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