next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
