If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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