Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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